On labels and anger

It's weird having a label. I am a "Celiac" (well, until proven otherwise). It's strange. I guess I shouldn't let that define WHO I am, though. It's hard, though, when it's basically part of my every waking thought. It comes out in many conversations. I don't try to hide it, it's really nothing to be ashamed of. Sure the symptoms were/are disgusting, but it wasn't anything I could help, was it? If it is really genetic, then it's just the way I was made...Wait, WHY?

Which leads me to anger. Yesterday I found myself getting very angry. Jeremy just cracked a joke (as he often does!)...he was upset that we didn't have any "normal" noodles because he wanted macaroni and cheese (he worked late and wanted something to eat when he got home). I said, "You could have some rice noodles, they are actually quite good." Jeremy said, "If God wanted me to eat rice noodles, I'd be the one who had Celiac disease!"...he really meant nothing by this. He tries his darnedest to say off-the-wall things to catch me off guard or get under my skin (not in a mean way!)....and this one just made me mad! Not at him, at the situation. WHY do I have this?! Sure it's not the worst thing ever, I could have it FAR worse; many people are dealing with medical issues I can't even fathom. But, I am a selfish person (aren't we all, at times?!) and it was a ME moment. Why do I have to deal with this, why can't I eat normal food and enjoy PIZZA and GRILLED CHEESE? Why do my friends and family members get to run around doing whatever they please in regard to food?! Ok, really, I don't think like this most of the time. I know it's not rational or reasonable, really. Things happen for a reason, but we don't necessarily understand or know the reason immediately. I just need to accept that.

I am a Celiac...and I will be fine! I WILL get healthy this year, I WILL get the genetic test, I WILL have a healthy pregnancy (God-willing!) in the not-so-distant future.

AND, I love my husband...even when he makes silly comments...;)
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So, I bought a great book over Christmas break...The Gluten-Free Bible by Jax Peters Lowell. Jax writes with a great wit and wonderful candor. I need to be more like her!
"The good news is, you're not dead. Not only are you not dead, you don't have anything that could be even remotely construed as fatal or life threatening, unless you cheat constantly, and you aren't going to do that, are you? Even better, your condition can be managed quite nicely without drugs, frequent doctor visits, and expensive hospital stays, nor does it require that you suffer any more bad news than you have already gotten....
The bad news? Well, you knew there'd be some. If you want to avoid some long-term complications, you've ordered your last pizza with everything on it. You've eaten your last cheeseburger on a sesame seed bun, buttered your last croissant, and bought your last frozen dinner, ice-cream come, slice of apple pie. The bad news is that from now on you have to think about every bit of food you put in your mouth. No more aimless grazing, nibbling, or grabbing something, anything, when you're hungry. You've got to plan meals and snacks and restaurant dinners. The bad news is that you are on a diet that allows no slack, one that will test your resolve and turn even the meekest among us into a serial killer (which, in your case, is spelled cereal)."--The Gluten-Free Bible; Jax Peters Lowell