Not happy...and I think it's my own fault

I've been using my Celiac disease as an excuse....

I have been bitter. I had to give up wheat/rye/barley, etc., so why should I have to give up anything else? I've been using my Celiac disease as an excuse to eat whatever I want, as long as it is gluten free. Truthfully, I haven't cheated...at least, I haven't cheated by (knowingly) eating anything that contains gluten. However, not to sound cliche, I've been cheating myself.

For most of my adult life (considering post-high school as adult), I have done a fairly good job of eating healthily, exercising, and generally taking care of myself. I have stayed relatively thin and can honestly say there are times (but not recently) when I have felt genuinely happy with the way I looked.

Not anymore, though. While I haven't exactly "let myself go" (I think that's a bit harsh), I definitely have started to let a lot of things slide.

I allow "regular" potato/corn tortilla chips in the house...in fact, I have even been the one to purchase them on occasion! Formerly, if we were going to have chips in the house, they were to be of the baked variety. Well, over the past few weeks we have had multiple bags of regular fried chips in the house...and I have mowed down on them. We've had two cartons of (regular, full-fat (although all-natural and organic! ;))ice cream in the house over the past month or so. It doesn't last long around here, either. I have been generous with our favorite Land O'Lakes butter that I pour on my popcorn (hey, it's an easy gluten-free meal or snack) or slather on my baked potato (the latter was tonight's dinner). I come home for lunch on most work days because I want to prepare a hot meal but I am trying not to use the microwave...but then I end up snacking and grazing through the fridge and eating more than I should at lunch. I've ordered an Alfredo dish at a restaurant and at nearly the entire huge portion (gasp!). I order coffee drinks with whipped cream (I read somewhere that Starbucks' whipped cream adds over 10 grams of fat...SCREAM!). And,to top it off,....I've made excuses that keep me away from the gym some evenings.

Sure I have to skip the bread basket at restaurants. But does that really make up for eating a fatty Alfredo-drenched entree or dressing-doused Caesar salad?! Sure I have to avoid the break room at work that is often filled with donuts, cookies, or brownies. But does that excuse snacking on chocolate, potato chips, or buttery popcorn every afternoon, telling myself "Hey, it's gluten free!"

This stops now.

This isn't about new years' resolutions.

This isn't about getting skinny (well, I'd be lying if I didn't think this would be a perk! I have a bikini to fit into on our trip to AZ in 2 months!).

This is about ceasing to dwell on the things I CAN'T have and beginning to be more thankful for the things I CAN have.

This is about an end to the pity party...I am nipping this in the bud. I am not going to let myself become someone who allows herself to drown feelings in food. Sure, my life seems to revolve around food now...and so be it. However, my choices are going to be more healthy.

~Breakfast will occur within a half hour of waking up.
~Water intake will increase (I've slacked on this since graduate school. Lately I've succumbed to sugary juices, rationalizing the fact that they are FULL of sugar by telling myself, "But it's all-natural fruit sugar!" Right. It's STILL SUGAR!!!). This means I need to get a good water bottle...one that's not putting harmful chemicals into my water, too, I guess!
~Consumption of fresh fruits/veggies will increase
~No more excuses for skipping the gym.

Sure, this sounds all good and nice and warm and fuzzy...but will it stick?