Friday, October 17, 2008

First post in my *new* blog

Well, this is weird. I am sitting at home, alone, on a Friday night...researching celiac disease and gluten free living tips online, as well as baking a batch of gluten-free brownies. I guess I'll attempt to back up and reminisce on how, exactly, I got here...
This past weekend, I decided enough was enough and I was going to the doctor...I felt like crap, I had felt like crap for a LONG time, and was starting to feel really silly whining about it all of the time. I was tired, run down, cranky (a combination of being too tired and frustrated by not knowing what my deal was), and annoyed. I called my doctor's office on Monday and made an appointment for Wednesday. Actually, the receptionist told me he didn't have any open appointments for this week (not really a surprise) but that I could leave a voice mail for his head nurse and she could call me back and try to fit me in. Well, thankfully, she was able to get me a 11:15 spot on Wednesday. As I sat in a cold exam room, I decided it would be a good idea to scribble down a list of "issues" on the back of an envelope in my purse...so I wouldn't forget anything when the doctor came in. I am not known for thinking/speaking well on my feet ;), and I wanted to have a visual reference in case I suddenly forgot why I was there in the first place.
My short list read:
"Cholesterol
Yaz
Fatigue
Gastrointestinal issues"
These were, at the time, my believed hierarchy of importance, in order of most important to least important.
I waited in the exam room for a good half hour, maybe more, and was starting to get irritated. Somehow, the rational side of me (which doesn't show up very often ;) ) whispered, "Ok, Rachel, maybe you're waiting a long time because your doctor just takes his time with each of his patients to ensure he hears everything they have to say and gives them the best care possible." Hm. Interesting food for thought. As it turned out later, I really think that that was the case. I am a fan of my doctor!
First, Cholesterol. On Tuesday the previous week I had gotten a wellness screening at work. I was actually pretty stoked about it. The screening included a blood draw for a cholesterol and glucose test. I had never had those tests performed previously and knew it would be a good thing to have some kind of baseline to refer to as I get older. I know, I am a huge dork for getting excited about a free medical test ;).
Well, the results were in envelopes inside our mailboxes at work on Tuesday of this past week. I was honestly flabbergasted when I opened mine and saw "208" as my "Total Cholesterol"....worse yet, it was flagged by a blazing letter H. A peek down at the key in the bottom margin of the page indicated that this meant that my cholesterol was indeed HIGH. This sent me into full-out panic mode. How on earth did I have high cholesterol?! My husband and I work out 4-7 days a week; on typical weeks we work out 4 days. We eat relatively healthy foods. Well....then I started thinking about it. I DO like butter and ice cream. I don't eat enough vegetables. Darn. I really felt as if I was killing myself. I peeked at the breakdown of LDL and HDL and all that but didn't really know what anything meant. Someone at work tried to tell me that HDL, GOOD cholesterol, was HIGH on my sheet...so that meant I was actually doing ok! I didn't take their word for it, and instead spent the rest of the day worrying that I was killing myself with my poor diet and not exercising quite enough.
Well, on Wednesday at my appointment, the first thing I did was whip out that piece of paper to show my doctor that I, indeed, had high cholesterol. My doctor, however, stated, "Actually, Rachel, your cholesterol is quite good." What?! He went on to explain to me that my "good" cholesterol (HDL) was 76, which is pretty high. He said they like to see HDL levels above 50 for women and this can lower the chances of heart disease, which is a leading cause of death among women. Whew! He further went on to tell me about a study done in Italy. Apparently there was a family there who all seemed to live abnormally long and doctors wanted to find out why. Turns out they all had HDL levels of above 100! Their "good" cholesterol was staving off their bad cholesterol and their arteries were unbelievably healthy! Wow! So, the next time I get a cholesterol test my goal is to have HDL levels of like 85 :). We'll see if I can do it!
Second, Yaz. I started taking Yaz in January of 2007. Let me make it perfectly clear here: I HATE THE IDEA OF TAKING DRUGS! It bothers me to take tylenol for a headache for crying out loud! I definitely hate the idea of popping a birth control pill each and every day. Hate it hate it HATE IT! I hate having extra chemicals in my body, I really do. But, for now, this is what we (as in, my husband and me) have decided to do...so that's the way it is for now. Ok, so I have not had a period (or much of one at least) for the past 3 months...maybe more. For the 1st two of those aformentioned months, I did have "spotting" (let me tell you, Jeremy was thoroughly disgusted when I described things using that word! Haha!!), but this last (the third mentioned) month, I had nothing...nada. Each of those months, I took a pregnancy test (urine) which all came back negative. I know, though, that there are some women who take pregnancy tests and get a negative result...who are indeed pregnant, they just didn't have high enough hormone levels to register on the tests. Honestly, since we've been married, I have taken pregnancy tests many months just to be sure. I am uber paranoid about being pregnant (hey, there is that crazy small percentage of failure in birth control...and I am somehow convinced that it will be me someday!) and if I am I definitely don't want to be accidentally popping more of those nasty chemical pills to affect my growing baby! Anyway, during the bloodwork that the doctor did on Wednesday, he took one vial to test for pregnancy...and the call I received over my lunch break today from a nurse informed me that I am NOT pregnant! WHEW! While of course we would make things work and we would LOVE our son or daughter...we really aren't yet in the place in our lives where we can financially, mentally, and emotionally successfully raise a child! So, I was relieved. However, I would be LYING if I said I didn't have at least a teeny tiny bit of baby fever right now ;)
Third, Fatigue. Ok, I have had some crazy fatigue lately. For example, a few Saturdays ago I fell asleep at 8:30 pm, seriously! A few days ago, Jeremy was working in our office while I was taking a shower. I came out of the bathroom in a bathrobe and layed down on the floor next to him, talking for a bit. I promptly fell asleep ON THE FLOOR! Craziness. There have been some speech therapy sessions during which I kind of space out and/or forget what happened because I am half asleep. Needless to say, none of these are GOOD things! Also, I typically can't make it through a movie...I fall asleep, even if we leave lights on to help me. OK, maybe this last one isn't exactly a crucial thing, but it is still something that is annoying compared to my desired way of life! The doctor ordered tests looking at my thyroid and electrolyte levels in my bloodwork...but according to my conversation with the nurse today, "everything looks great." Argh!!! Someone explain this, then!
Fourth, Gastrointestinal issues (we're talking intermittent diahrrea/constipation, gas/bloating after eating, painful stomach, and some other really gross issues...really gross. Like no one should have to experience some of these things!!). Honestly, for a longlonglong time I have felt miserable after more meals than I have felt good after. Did you follow that? That was a weird sentence! ;) I am being serious, though...I typically feely really gross after I eat. It hasn't seemed to matter what I eat or how much I eat...I feel terrible. Sometimes I feel extremely gassy and bloated, which is accompanied by a deep pain in my stomach. Sometimes I just have a big stomachache. There have been times when I go for a few weeks with no symptoms (that I can remember or realize), but it always comes back.
In February I went to the doctor to try to get some medication/advice about a sinus infection I had had for a while. Like I said before, I don't really "like" taking drugs...but this darn thing had lingered and I was feeling terrible. So, to the doctor I did go. During my checkup, somehow my GI issues came up and the doctor started really prying into them. I told him that during my later undergrad years, a doctor in the Quad Cities had "diagnosed" me with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). My doctor honestly looked confused and told me he didn't like this diagnosis and that to REALLY get that diagnosis you have to rule out all other possibilities. He asked me what medical tests I had recieved and I informed him that the only test I had received was an ultrasound of my galbladdar, which came back normal. After a lengthy conversation, my doctor informed me that he thought I had celiac disease...he told me to go home, think about it/do research, and come back within the next 3 weeks for a blood test. I did go home and do a lot of reading...and it freaked me out. I didn't listen to him on the "coming back in 3 weeks" part. Honestly, I didn't want to deal with it...and all of the changes I would have to make to my lifestyle. During some of my reading I discovered that if an individual who has celiac disease gets pregnant and continues to consume gluten, there can be complications in the pregnancy and for the baby. I told myself that since I wasn't planning on getting pregnant any time soon, there wasn't a huge hurry to get a diagnosis. I made it my "goal" to find out if I had celiac disease at some point before we started "trying" to have children...so that I wouldn't have pregnancy complications. However, until that time I sort of had that really irresponsible "if I ignore it, it will go away" mentality.
Well, needless to say, my symptoms didn't really go away. This past appointment, I didn't even really prioritize addressing my GI issues since what I was most concerned with was the pregnancy issue. The doctor (have I mentioned yet how much I really like, and respect!, my doctor?!) started, though, dredging up the GI issues we had discussed during that February appointment. He told me again that he thinks I have celiac disease...and wants me to try going gluten free for three weeks...he did order a blood test, but he doesn't want to do the small intestine biopsy that will really diagose celiac disease (the way I understand it, anyway) because he doesn't think it's necessary to chop into me. He wants to wait and see what the diet does to my symptoms. Well, three weeks starts TOMORROW for me (my decision) and I decided tonight to start a little blog to write about my adventures...and misadventures!
So far I have started peeking around local stores for gluten free goodies and have purchased a few things. I bought a mix for brownies at Naturally Yours, here in Bloomington...it was $5.50! Eating this way will DEFINITELY be an adjustment as far as our grocery bill goes! The mix has sugar, rice flour, xanthan gum, and some tapioca. I baked the brownies up (you just add 4 eggs and 3/4 cup butter...sheesh, that's a lot of butter!) and they look...weird. I haven't tried them yet, they are cooling in the kitchen! I will definitely experiment with baking from scratch (I am a slightly more than just adept baker ;) ) but I thought starting with a mix was a good way to "break" myself into things!
Based on my "research" thus far...even if I do discover at some point that I don't have celiac disease, I will definitely be more healthy on a gluten free diet. I have been reading some awesome things like how much better people feel with less/no gluten, how much easier women lose pregnancy weight when they aren't eating gluten, etc. Hey, it's definitely worth a try.
Before I go, here are my concerns about beginning this quest, in no particular order:
1) Understanding/support from family and friends...I don't want people to be put out when I bring my own food over to their homes when we get invited for meals, etc. Honestly, my worst fear is being invited to eat at friends' homes LESS because people don't want to deal with my "problem." That really makes me sad to think about! Not that I have bad friends or anything...I can just see where my eating habits/lifestyle could be really strange looking and possibly a turn-off.
2) Eating at restaurants (although I called our local Biaggi's, one of my favorite nice Italian restaurants here in Bloomington...and they have a gluten free menu!) and interacting with uneducated/uninformed or just plain impatient wait staff
3) Interaction with my husband (I know this might sound lame...but food is really a big part of his life! His favorites are chicago style pizza and mexican food! How can a wife with celiac disease share these things with her husband?!)
4) COST (I need to do lots of research on where to find things at the best prices!)
5) Food at events such as weddings and other big social gatherings
6) getting pregnant someday...I really hope I have everything under control before we have pregnancy enter the equation! Celiac disease, unchecked, can cause infertility. Considering one of my biggest dreams (most days ;) ) is one day being a mommy, this scares me...A LOT

Well, that's enough for one night :). I am going to try to post my trials and tribulations daily...and if not daily, at least a few times a week. Maybe at some point my musings will provide someone else in my shoes with advice. For now, though, it will just be an outlet for my feelings, frustrations, and maybe to record some recipes! :)

Rachel

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